Since the beginning of time, man has longed for the meaning of existence. Many came forth claiming to hold the answer, non more iconic than Jesus Christ. However, afer 2000 years, the emergence of a new prophet promises to ease humanities' existentialism; Comos Bassington.
Many parallels have been drawn between Comos Bassington and the Son, as the genesis of each figure closely aligns. Both were conceived through the immaculate conception, and both were sent to earth to serve the word of god. What is God currently saying? The state of fashion is hellish. As such, Comos Bassington was sent on a holy conquest. His mission? To repent style sinners.
Just like Jesus Christ, many regard Comos Bassington as a disruptor. So, for those of you who double the new prophet, here are his qualifications. Comos Bassington can't turn water into wine, but he can turn it into tequila. He can't raise the dead, but he has been known to resurrect himself after a late night out. And if that's not impressive enough, his designs ar eproof of his divinity; they're a miracle, combining the three facets of the holy trinity- satin, velvet, and leather!
Since 2021, Comos Bassington has been spreading the good word. He says renounce false idols - brands who preach slim - cut jeans and baseball caps. Come to the light! Embrace sex, slickness, shades of black and blue. Pants that hang too low or shirts with obnoxiously large cuffs- God loves large things. Comos Bassington says life's too short to slug it in sweats. With commandments as profound as that, "BC" will surely adopt a new connotation - before Comos.
If you seek the meaning of existence, look no further than Comos Bassington - if you stare at his clothing for long enough, enlightenment will strike.
Comos Bassington loves you.